“If you can’t do the little things right and find joy in them, you will not do the big things right and find joy in them”
For a while I had struggled to find joy in the little things, I struggled to manage my time and energy well. Every day I felt like things were falling apart and there was no way of escaping it. I felt like I was suffocating.
Homeschooling was not helping, the kids seemed to always be around. I needed a break from everyone, my husband, kids, the housework EVERYTHING. I needed to find my peace and calm again. Get closer to Allaah, and find my joy before a serious burnout.
The one habit I encourage everyone to get into is to always focus on and start with yourself. Assess your own situation before looking for external circumstances that may also be to blame for how you are feeling. Has anything changed that you can think off?
Was there something you used to do that you stopped doing? Is there something you avoided that you have started to engage in?
By starting with ourselves we can see the connection between low Imaan (faith) and not feeling at peace. Imaan (faith) increases when we do good deeds (recite the Quran while contemplating upon it, seek beneficial knowledge, reflect on the signs of His creation) and it decreases when we sin and become negligent of the deen of Allaah. (Read more about increasing your imaan here)
The prophet (sallaahu alaihi wasallam) used to ask for forgiveness 100 times a day and Allaah says: Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest (13-28).
In hindsight, I realize now that I was busying myself and did not give myself time to sit down and reflect on my days. My prayers were rushed (and still are) and my dua’s were not heartfelt. Add to that my sea of sins that I was not repenting from and I can see why I was slowly loosing joy and getting anxious again.
Alhamdulilaah it’s not always doom or gloom after evaluating and working towards bettering your relationship with Allaah you can try these 3 ways to find Joy in the everyday.
1: Make time for yourself: A mother is still a person who has dreams, ambitions and has the drive to achieve them. Taking care of children, being a wife, teacher, cleaner and the exclusive driver at mom taxi takes an immense amount of energy and the energy generated by making time for YOU to do whatever it is that you enjoy doing can be an important resource. So go ahead give yourself the permission to be a little selfish every now and then and make time to read, write and create something that makes you feel alive.
2: Accept that YOU cannot do it all: You are not superwoman and you don’t have to be. This is where we as mothers we need to develop the saying NO muscle without feeling guilty or lying land and making excuses. I mean there is also no need to sin in order to escape something you have committed that you obviously should have never agreed to in the first place. Rather that we work up the courage and learn to say no than playing hide and
3: Plan your days: There is a saying, if you don’t plan your days the world will plan it for you. The best way to plan your day is to write it down. If it’s on the calendar/ planner it gets done. There is a feeling of being accomplished at the end of the day when you have done the things you said you were going to do.
Like I said it’s not all doom or gloom, there were lessons to be learned and blessings to be counted Alhamdulilah. But as with everything in life it’s important to remain patient while making sincere dua that Allaah blesses us with a positive outlook on life because the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Saheeh Muslim #2999)
I stopped watching TV and this is what happened
Muslimah Guide to Morning Routine
3 ways to Find Joy in the Everyday Things
30 Day Challenge: Healthy Sleeping Habits
Homeschooling Success depends on 3 Ingredients
Spiritual Habits to Develop in just 10 minutes a day
Simple Morning Routine: 7 Things to do before 7am
Interview with Dr Gemma Elizabeth of Our Muslim Homeschool
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