“You have a duty to your Lord, you have a duty to your body, and you have a duty to your family, so you should give each one its rights.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Finding the right balance between being a mom, wife, devout muslimah, and careerwoman (for some) is an issue most of us struggle with. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the multiple roles and responsibilities, and to fall short at some point. Some of us, like myself, also make the mistake of putting most of our focus on one area, while not paying enough attention to the others.
Being a mother and a homeschooler, I devote most of my time and energy into my children. I love them dearly and want the best for them in every aspect of their life. But I’ve come to realize that giving my children the best does not mean having to sacrificing my other responsibilities such as keeping the house clean or the husband happy. On the contrary, it means having to learn how to balance it all and give each one its right.
Wahb ibn Munnabih (May Allah have mercy on him), said, “Verily, everything has two ends and a middle. If you hold one of the ends, the other will be skewed. If you hold the middle, the two ends will be balanced. You must seek the middle ground in all things.” (Source: Hilyat Al-Awliya 4818)
As Muslims, we are told to be moderate, whether it is with our relationships or worship. In turn, this moderation will inshaAllah lead us to have balance in our lives. Traits such as extremism or having excessive obsessions are disliked because they stray us from the middle ground.
Moderation in worship:
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once asked a companion: “(Is it true) that you fast all day and stand in prayer all night?” The companion replied that the report was indeed true. The Prophet then said: “Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave (it) at other times. Stand up for prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you.” – Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Hadith 127
Moderation in relationships:
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Love your beloved mildly (moderately), perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate mildly, perhaps he will become your beloved someday.” Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1997
So, remember, while in the process of trying to win the “best mother of the year” award, make sure you are also not a runner up for the “worst wife ever” award 😉 While taking care of your dunya, make sure you are also taking care of your akhirah. If it is one thing which Islam teaches us, it’s that the key to success is being able to achieve the perfect balance in all areas of our lives.
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