I take a shower every day, do I need it? Heck Yeah!
Smelling fresh and having clean hair is supposed to be a good thing but for me, it’s more than that.
It’s part of my self-care ritual.
Showers serve a purpose so much more than just cleaning myself and feeling fresh. It’s my way of taking a break physically as well as mentally because ones I get in that shower I reflect and wash away those tough parts of the day that I sometimes let hold me back from enjoying the ‘rest of my day or evening’. Sometimes it’s a shower after a rough start in the morning and other times it’s after a long hard day.
I know as I step into the shower to just let it go, no more replaying it in my mind and carrying around negative vibes/energy because stepping out of the shower signifies a fresh start.
Now don’t get me wrong I know letting go of the small things can be easy, a broken glass, paints on the walls or spills on the floors but remember that whatever you struggle to let go off you should give yourself the permission to take a break from mentally.
I regularly take breaks from:
- The guilt of not being the “perfect” mom, I have yet to meet the perfect mom. My mom was not perfect, my sisters are not perfect mothers and I was not a perfect person so there was never really a chance I was going to be the perfect mother. But you know what I think we are doing ok, the kids are happy and healthy alhamdulillah.
- Not being enough, it’s my childhood story that I retell myself all the time. I may have believed that I was not enough at some point in my life but now I need to focus on being happy as I am and learn to grow and work towards becoming the person I want to be.
- Not doing enough, we don’t have a full of activity schedule. The kids don’t go to gym classes, swim classes or ballet and I am ok with that. On this note, I will also give myself a break from not going outside for 2 hours a day. Sometimes we go outside for 30 minutes other times we don’t even make it further than the balcony and guess what, it’s ok.
- Not having the perfect ‘Instagram and Pinterest’ worthy house, kids LIVE here. Messy, loud kids who run around the place and throw stuff around live here so and I am content with it alhamdulillah. I sometimes have to stop myself and actually be grateful for this because it’s a true blessing to have them here and have them fill the house with laughter and joy.
- Not being the best at disciplining, sometimes I yell sometimes I give them a timeout, sometimes I give them a time out while I yell and most of the time I FEEL drained. Kids will miss behave and discipline is hard. Making more dua and being more patient is what I need more of all around.
- Worry over the future, it causes me anxiety and stress. I worry about the society, humanity and the kind of environment my kids are growing up in. There are a million things I want for them but most importantly I want them to be able to navigate life and make the right decisions. However causing myself to physically and mentally be drained from these thoughts should be something I not only take a break from but also learn to LET go.
- The latest entry on the list of things I am taking a break from is counting how much and how little my husband does. He helps around the house but it’s never enough and it drives me crazy. The thing is I should learn that it is enough if he takes the kids out for couple hours it’s enough, if he cleans the shower/bath walls it’s enough. He is enough and that’s how I need to accept him.
How to give yourself a Break:
How you give yourself a break (physically) when you need it is up to you, for me, it’s stepping into the shower and reflecting but for you it can be
- Allowing yourself extra sleep
- Getting a message
- Relaxing in a sauna or steam room
- Take a long hot bath
- Go for a walk
- Do some cloud watching
With the new year here I invite you to consider and evaluate what is keeping you from being a happy mother and learn to either let go of the guilt, the perfection, what “it’s supposed to be” and the what if’s or at the very least learn to take a break from them (mentally and physically)
Beautiful reminder, we are all human and will never be perfect mums. Xx
It doesn’t help that we are constantly made to feel guilty about the choices we make for our families either. Alhamdulilah.
You are singing my song!
Haha, I have joined the choir ?
What a wonderful post. Being a self carr advocate i am in looove with this. Thank u!
You are welcome, I learned things the hard way but alhamdulilah.